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Allow yourself to GROW from grief and find your own path
Grief is a normal reaction to loss, change, and heartbreak. It makes a huge impact and changes in your life that makes you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing or where you’re going. You’re not the same person as you were before, you’re not meant to have it all figured out right away and you’re not supposed to be happy all the time.
· Not knowing what to do next is a beautiful thing.
· Take the time to find you.
· Truly embrace your emotions and how you are feeling.
· Take responsibility for the control you have in your life.
We don’t have control over the people and things we lose, but we do have control over how it affects and changes us mentally and physically. It may not seem like it in the moment, it may feel impossible. You deserve to heal and grow from your pain no matter how big or small it may seem.
I unexpectedly lost my dad when I was 17 years old. Everything around me was a fog and I was just putting one step in front of the other as if I Knew where I was going. I put a smile on and told everyone I was fine. So much so I started to believe it myself. I had a great life, close with my family, lots of friends, I loved being a Massage Therapist, I did what I wanted and said how I felt. Soon after my dad passed, I started getting eczema all over my arms, I would have panic attacks and fall into depression, my migraines would keep me in bed all day. I understood that we as humans hold stress in our bodies. Nothing a good massage, chiropractor, or medication to ease the symptoms. Unfortunately everything I did only helped for a little bit and would eventually come back.
It wasn’t until I went through the mind-body connection that I truly healed and had better understanding and control. After only 3 weeks of coaching, my eczema started to go away and STAY AWAY! I learned that I didn’t need everyone around me to feel comfortable or understand what I was thinking and feeling. I learned that it’s not just saying “I’m sad” and start crying but that I also need to understand why I felt that way then just excepting the surface level answer. Of course, I was sad and going to cry about my father passing. At the time that was simply an okay answer. Once I dug deeper as to why losing my father had such an impact on my life, I was able to truly feel the emotion, understand it and grow.
· Not knowing is a beautiful thing.
When you are grieving you will feel lost, and scared, you will feel like there is no end to this pain. You will want to result back to what feels normal and safe. Change is scary for everyone. You will have a voice in your head that will give you every reason that you will never heal, and it will never get better. Don’t give up. You’re not required to know what to do next. You’re not expected to have it all figured out. You are in a very new stage of life that requires you to take one step at a time. Challenge yourself with something new every day, big or small. Having the open opportunities to not knowing leaves all doors wide open. It may even get harder before it gets better.
· Take the time to find you.
During this time of grief, you will lose yourself and your grasp on reality. Just as with not knowing what to do you also won’t know who you are. Don’t rush this prosses, allow yourself to try new things, question everything you’re taught beliefs are not facts, they are opinions. Allow yourself to fail repeatedly. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.
· Truly embrace your emotions and how you are feeling.
Don’t just simply allow yourself to say, “I’m stressed” “I hold stress in my body” “I’m fine” “I’m not having a good day” or “I’m mad”. Don’t think any emotions are just a small thing that will go away over time. Even positive emotions. Why you are feeling any emotion ask yourself WHY and don't let the first answer be the only answer. Allow yourself to be honest with why you are having these emotions. What thoughts come to mind when you have this emotion, how does this emotion affect you physically and mentally? Some emotions are quick, others may take some time and you may even want to take some alone time to say anything and everything on your mind. Allow it to be free.
· Take responsibility for the control you have in your life.
It can be easy to point fingers and blame what is happening around you. But you have all the control you need to heal and grow. In every scenario you can change the story you are telling in your head. Is it true? How can you change or tweak the story so that it is true or slightly truer? Allow yourself to pause for just a moment, remove yourself from the situation and look at it from an outside perspective. Then ask yourself "who am I?"
I want you to be able to heal and grow from a place where you feel broken and trapped. I was there too, I believed there was no way out. The mind-body connection gave me the strength and understanding I needed to do what I needed and set boundaries with what I didn't need. I'm not perfect, I don't have it all figured out but that's not the point the point is to take it one step at a time and learn as you go.
You will be able to enjoy being in the present moment again. You will have peace and comfort with the control you have over your life. Allow yourself to go THROUGH the grief and pain. Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, fear, guilt, shame, joy, etc. Don't tell yourself it will heal over time, that it's not a big deal. It may not be a big deal to anyone else but to you it is. Time does not heal all wounds, it's what you do with the time that helps you heal.
If you are ready to do this for yourself, contact me for more information on my coaching program and how mind-body connection can help you.
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