Handle stress the RIGHT way!

It is not enough to just say, I'm just stressed, it will go away or get better. It's never JUST stressful. Stress can be a buildup of something so much deeper. Simply thinking stress will just go away with time is just telling your body to suppress the issue and deal with it physically then emotionally.

What is stress? this is the definition from "World Health Organization" article on stress they say,

"Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Everyone experiences stress to some degree."

I love this definition where it says, "prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives." Dealing with stress the right way was just that. ADDRESS THE PROBLEM!!! Simply just acknowledging you are stressed is NOT enough to handle your stress. Most of the time I find that people with stress ignore the problem and do anything and everything to avoid the thoughts and emotions. Therefore, you are suppressing everything that doesn't go away. It simply just starts to build up in us.

We become addicted to the placebo effect that we have told ourselves over and over is helping our stress. A lot of you may be thinking addictions are only sex, drugs, and alcohol. But the thing is anything that you have made to be your placebo effect to handle stress is just as harmful to your mental and physical health. Anything that isn't sitting with your stress, understand what you are stressing over and learn how to be in control of the stress. You are only avoiding the stress and hurting yourself in the long run.

If you are noticing stress in your life either a little or a lot or even something new. Don't let your first thought be "I'm fine, it's not a big deal, it will go away" Let your thoughts run free, thinking of all the reason you are stressed. Without defending it or changing it in the moment. One of my favorites was of doing so is what I call rage journaling. Taught to me by my coach and taught to her by many other life coaches and therapists around.

Rage journaling is simply just getting a blank piece of paper, blank screen on your computer or phone that you can type on or getting a recorder. You don't need a fancy designated journal because when you’re done you will be throwing it away, burning it, deleting and never reading/listening to it again. You will no longer allow those thoughts and emotions to have space in your mind and body.

Set a timer for 20-30 minutes and ask yourself "what sucks?". Put all your thoughts and feelings onto the page. Let them run free. Holding nothing back. Don't change anything, defend the situation, or have any regrets. This is not for anyone else to read or listen to. It is for your healing and you’re healing only. Once the time goes off stop where you are and just let yourself sit with it. Ask yourself "what did i learn about myself?" What do I have control and power over to change the negative in pack I allow this to have on my life? This could look like changing something within yourself or change how you allow others to treat you, it may mean you need to stand up for yourself and beliefs. It may be setting boundaries with a friend or family member. 

This is a simple and easy way to deal with your stress and not ignore the situation. The stress may have just come on be it could be the build up of letting something happen repeatedly that you weren’t okay with. Being honest and open is the only way to truly know.

Some situations take more and longer work than others. I believe healing is a personal journal that only you can understand and go through. This doesn’t always mean you have to do it alone. Find a friend or family member that you can talk with about situations in life that don’t make you feel guilty or shame for the way you feel, they don’t try to just make you happy again, they don’t take thing personally or a competition of who’s situation is worse. This special person can be hard to come by but once you do, don’t ever let them go. If you do not have someone in your life that fits this, there are many great therapists and life coaches for all different situations ready to help you.

Whether or not you handle it by yourself, behind closed doors or in the public eye don’t let it get to the breaking point before you get the help you deserve. No matter the situation, if it is affecting your mental health, it deserves attention. You may even tell yourself “Well, it could be worse” or “there are bigger issues in this world. Mine isn’t a big deal.” It is easy to find an excuse to not address our stress and negative emotions and thoughts. But remember this will only hurt you more and deeper in the long run.